Don't you wish...

...that you lived right down the street from me so that you could come over and have a piece of this delicious cake that I made just this afternoon?

It's Pioneer Woman's 'Best Chocolate Sheet Cake. Ever.' recipe. It is deeeeelicious. * I left out the nuts on about half of it, adding nuts + coconut for Mike on the rest. It's the kind of cake that you eat hot out of the oven, directly out of the pan with a spoon. No joke.

Baby wanted cake and like Jesus says: if your baby asks you for cake do you give him a vegetable? (Or something to that effect.) Baby has also wanted Lucky Charms lately which, if you know me at all, is against everything I believe in and know to be right with the world. But somehow they just taste sooooo right. And yet, am I walking a very fine line...am I on a slippery slope of hypocrisy since I have to eat them secretly while my daughter sleeps? I'm just not ready to explain why Lucky Charms are like wine or beer. Nutritionally void and not for kids. So until further notice, I sneak a bowl in the office with Mike while she naps...or after she's in bed at night. Man, do I sound like a crazy pregnant woman or what?

Final Days...

Our little pumpkin (still baking.)

I have been getting some serious heat-not only for not blogging but for not sending any recent pics of prego-me. So here you go, friends: a picture taken just a couple days ago, of me and ma' beg bellay.

Realistically, I guess that my being so bad at blogging this past year and a half or so means that there's almost no hope whatsoever that there will be any new posts once our little guy arrives...but like my honey says, 'it's good to set the bar really, really low because then you can only be pleasantly surprised!' Good advice, methinks. So there- the bar has been set very low and neither you, nor I will feel let down if these postings remain scarce. Anything's better than nothing, right?

Admittedly, part of it has been a conscious decision to work on being more 'in the now'--and it's hard to be in the now when you're constantly seeing life through a photo lens or envisioning every happening as a prospective blog posting. But since I'm not on Facebook and I do, dearly want to keep our out of town friends, I'll do my best. I sure miss you guys, by the way...

Update: was just at the midwife today and all looks good. Despite feeling like I am ready to pop, it doesn't appear that I will. At a time when I cannot see any body party below my tummy, am daily asked 'are you having twins?' or 'you really look like you're ready to have that baby!', I will revel in the compliments of my midwife who told me today that she would have 'killed to have a pelvis like mine that was just perfect for birthing babies!' and 'what a lovely, soft and perfect cervix!' One takes what one can get, people.

On a different note, I am quite in love with my midwife, Hellen. If ever I've had a female hero, it must be her. She is an absolute miracle--so kind, loving and nurturing --and WHAT AN EXPERT! Her experienced hands told me that baby's head is very low, that he is laying on his side, and that, despite my 'feeling'--he's not a ginormous child whose birth will make it into the Yahoo! news headlines. In her exact words, "no, he's not a peanut. but he's also not particularly large." We'll see. My nedre regions certainly hope she is right.

Here are a couple recent pics of Audrey--

On Easter--which turned into a 'princess party'...(strange how inborn that stuff is.)

At her first dentist appointment

...and with her Daddy, right after naptime, munching cookies. This happens to be the weekend, but 6 out of 7 days, when she wakes up on the afternoon, Daddy is the only one she wants to see for about 15 minutes. Lucky girl has a Daddy who lets her snuggle up for a cuddle--even in the middle of a work day.

Feet on fire.

I wish I had a picture to show you of how heinous my feet look right now. 6 whole days after removing tape that a physical therapist put on the top of my feet, I suddenly broke out with a severe allergic reaction exactly where the tape was placed. Having showered daily and even been swimming 3 times, it is a total mystery to me how this is even possible. Not to mention the fact that although I've always had somewhat sensitive skin, I have never had any specific latex allergy, etc. No medical professional or specialist has been able to figure out what is going on or cure me. No systemic or topical ointment, natural cure, etc. has helped. Not even a tiny bit.

Can I just tell you how miserable it is to be mega-pregnant and have your feet burning and itching all day and night long, without any relief whatsoever? For 7 days so far. Really, really fun.

A true case of 'when the cure is worse than the disease'. The taping was done to ease my sciatica. Yeeeeeha.

Room Makeover

Well, we needed some serious intention to figure out how to fit two children and all their stuff into this not-so-big room. Step one was lightening it up with a brighter color. The yellow we chose may not represent well on screen and is slightly greenish at night (not the desired effect) but looks very cheery and bright during the day--which is the most important thing in a small room with no direct sunlight, right?

Best buddies

And Ta-DA!

My loving husband painted quite a few coats of yellow to cover up the green (who knew green was that tough?) and I painted the little mural to match A's bedspread, as well as the things above baby's crib. I can't draw or paint worth a darn so it's kind of shocking that I undertook this. It was basic, so I'm pretty happy with it.

The 'reading corner'

A good reminder for anxious mommies....:)

Very simple, modern crib minus bumper. Had one made but it just didn't fit or look right. So we've decided to stay minimalist.

In addition to what you see, we converted our coat closet to a wardrobe for A's clothing (yes, even little women seem to need more space than men) and the built-in in the actual bedroom is organized for toys + baby's clothing.

Mission accomplished!

Peeking into the innermost parts...

We almost didn't have a 4-D scan done of this little guy...It was really fun and special to have done it with Audrey but it did also feel like we were potentially seeing something that we were not meant to see....something so hidden and intimate--the weaving together of someone in my innermost parts!

But my loving husband pointed out that this was also a very slippery slope...the sad destiny of the second child. The first? Full baby book, 4-D scan, pictures of mommy's tummy growing week by week, natural childbirth, etc. The second? One tummy picture and an epidural right from the start (just kidding but who knows?). Anyway, for that reason alone, we decided to get the 4-D scan and it was amazing and so sweet. Can you believe he's yawning? * For those of you who aren't used to seeing ultrasounds in 3 or 4-D, the baby might look a little freaky (and who knows, he might be!), but the distortion and blurriness you see in his features is due to the fluid. For example, up by his left eye, that is the umbilical cord causing the blurriness.

7 months.

Poor baby #2--here we are, 7 months into this pregnancy and just doing my first blog posting. May be he is a private person?

At about 2 1/4 lbs. he weighs the same as a Chinese cabbage, can blink his eyes and can see light filtering through my womb. Passed my glucose test (hurray for not having gestational diabetes-- i hear it sucks and means no more donuts) but need more iron (no wonder I've felt extra exhausted--hurray for needing more cheeseburgers in my diet!)

Never thought we'd have such a hard time choosing a name, given how obsessed I've always been with baby names but, alas, nothing has seemed like 'the' name--as it did with Audrey.

Suggestions? (Restrictions: no 'm' names and it must go with 'Morris.')

Not sure if anyone even checks this anymore since I never post. But isn't this cupcake cute?!

Fall is slowly coming to Portland....my little girl is obsessed with riding her Skuut bike and wearing flip flops. Yes now that summer's over, she finally learned how to wear them and insists on having them on 100% of the time.

Public. Private. Public.

So we've had so many issues adding people to the permissions thing which didn't always seem to work for some reason (so sorry for those of you who were never able to come on even after we added your names) that we decided to go public again. 

Not that we ever even post. 

I guess there've been myriad reasons for that, which are well-covered territory, but nevertheless here they are again:

1.) Time. 

Time on the computer is almost always 'stolen'. Stolen from my hubbie, Audrey, or God, just good-ole-quiet alone-with-me time, or calling friends & family (which is already hard enough to find uninterrupted time for!)...or reading time (all those books that are calling my name!)...or exercise...or sleep...or email time...

2.) Interest.

I guess it seems a little boring to write about the every day trivialities of home life and at the other extreme, a little too...exposed to air out more personal thoughts, etc. ...and when I did, I found myself censoring too much so as not to offend the views of people who (used to) read this blog so....it just got stale.

3.) It takes too long to upload pictures.

 

Which is really the main reason that people look at blogs anyways, isn't it? I found myself getting behind...and then getting discouraged and then I'd make vows and promises to 'catch up' but never did...and then it just became another chore.

So why am I even keeping this thing? I'm not sure. Can I find a reason to keep it, the mojo to make it happen, and the moderation to not feel guilty that I'm wasting precious seconds of my day ?

A mission. A purpose. That's what I need. A Purpose-Driven Blog. I can't see it now: t-shirts, hats, pens, journals, coffee-mugs. Yeah, that's it.

But there are so many blogs out there. What is there to say that hasn't everything already been said? 

In some ways it feels like there is nothing new under the sun and all is vanity, as the writer of Ecclesiastes once aptly said.

Before closing, I'll tell you about some recent happenings (within a week or so) that you could probably care less about:

- Our beloved McCormicks came and visited us over the 4th of July weekend. We did all kinds of fun stuff like a jet boat ride on the Willammette, a kiddie-parade, watching Audrey playing in the Jamison park fountains, eating way too much and just generally sitting around eating and drinking too much. And getting into a funk when they left.

- New good friends here in Pdx, Sonja and Luc, were married. It was a fun-filled week of bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and a beautiful and sweet wedding in Forest Grove, Oregon. Lovely people, loverly day. G.K. Chesterton said something that I feel is excellent and wise, even if it does reveal some jaded shadow to my own heart: "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost." 

- In an effort to help my friend save some $, I baked and iced about 160 cupcakes for the wedding. And though I've baked many a cupcake, I never did understand why many caterers charge an outrageous $7 or more per cupcake. Now I do.  I had never piped so many freakin' flower petals in my dern life. Three kinds: carrot w/ cream cheese icing, dark chocolate w/ ganache & a rose-water buttercream, and last but not least spice w/ maple cream & bacon. yes, bacon. You gotta try it. Weird but it works.

- My friend, Jen and I, went to a Coldplay concert.  FANTASTIC. But now I'm haunted by a few songs that I cannot seem to get out of my head. 

- Today Audrey and I biked over to a playgroup where they threw sand at each other and loved it...and to my dismay (and probably to that of every single person we passed on the street) she cried the whole way home because it was past nap time and her mommy waited too long to leave. Darn it that we're both so social.

- Tonight we had friends over for dinner which is all well and good (European Peasant dough makes excellent Naan, we discovered), but best of all we had Roed Groed med Floede. Do you know what that is?

Literally translated from Danish it's 'red porridge with cream'. In actuality it's a red porridge with cream. Or more specifically: you puree red berries (+ I added some cooked rhubarb) with sugar and top it off with whipped cream (laced with real vanilla beans & a splash of almond extract). Serve in a bowl. So simple, so incredibly delicious. Except for one problem.

It makes me miss Denmark even more than I already do.

Yes, I still do. And I feel so guilty about it because God is, as always, soooo generous and good to me. (Although now that I've said that, some tragedy is just bound to strike. That's my theology in a nutshell.) Married to an amazing guy (who is so great that he actually 'gets' my missing DK and isn't even threatened by it at all), blessed with an angelic daughter, faithful friends here in the U.S., love Portland and our life here...but Denmark. I can't seem to get it out of my heart, like an unfinished gestalt.  I miss people and things...and I can just picture Gitte and Marian at Oasis camping in the Danish summer night right now. Camping in a way that only Danish people know how to camp. With preaching and singing and lots of bbq-ing and smoking and wine and beer. Yes, all at a church camp. That kind of says it all and I miss it. And I also realize that all of this is part and parcel of living in a broken world. As Larry Crabb put it in his book 'Inside Out', that even when our lives are happiest and without tragedy, we walk around with a sense deep in our hearts, that all is not as it is should be. Nor will it ever be. Not on this side of heaven.' 

Still, I ache to be there...that place where I grew up and spent such precious, growing years of my life...sitting outside of an old camper (where Audrey's already sleeping), together with Mike and our friends and a glass of vino...watching the sun not go down. Not all the way.

Best cocktail EVER.

I know, I know: I suck at blogging now. No one probably even checks to see if I've posted anymore.

But just in case: we were visiting Kell in Chi-town this last week and while there had the best cocktail ever. Here were the ingredients: (lots of colons in this post) Plymouth Gin, splash of grapefruit juice, lavender simple syrup, elderflower liqueur, mint--served straight up in a martini glass. Amazing.

It was good to see sister Kell again in her new environs. Her place is small but cozy and she was so generous as to have us crash with her while we were there. We had fun eating out ALOT (more than any of us ever had, I think), seeing some sites and even went to a Cubbs / Dodgers game (not that the timing of that was in any way accidental. M is a huge Dodgers fan.) Aunt Kelly took Audrey to the American Girl store for tea and even bought her her very first A.G. baby, which she has named Meg. (I guess we'll need to call her Meg II, since she already named one doll Meg.) Anyway, hopefully a pics will follow, but I'm not promising anything.

Btw- for some strange reason I'm feeling weird about having a private blog after all. As if I was going to post something scandalous. Might undo the private thing but am considering the pros and cons.

Pretty

USA Today has an article about a series of German studies attempting to unravel the mystery of what 'beauty' is, why certain face and figure types are considered more attractive than others, as well as investigate the dangerous relationship between attractiveness and social power.

It's really nothing new that teen age boys couldn't already tell you but nevertheless still quite fascinating. And lest you feel bad for the first person you see labeled as 'unattractive female' or 'unattractive male', rest assured: the faces are composites derived from morphing software, based on numerous factors deemed 'attractive' or 'unattractive', not single individuals. 

A few things I found interesting- the unattractive people didn't seem very unattractive to me. That is to say, I could see the difference between the attractive and unattractive faces, but the differences seemed very subtle and I would have thought that they would have picked more divergent examples. But perhaps that's the whole point--to see what subtle differences get voted as more and less attractive. I don't know about you, but I would be just fine having any of the figure types shown in the ratio examples. 

The most alarming finding was about the social perception of attractiveness. Go read it and come back to tell me what strikes you as interesting.

P.S. The main site is in German but there is an English version of all the main pages so make sure to click on 'English version' in the upper right hand corner. 

Big Girl Bed

About a month ago, Audrey started sleeping in her very own 'big girl bed.'

A week later, she shed her pacifiers, leaving them all on the front porch for the 'Pappy Fairy' to pick up and deliver to all the newborn babies. The Pappy Fairy left her a really cool Winnie the Pooh sticker book and Daddy and Mommy bought her a kite. This is a HUGE sacrifice that deserves a little bribery.

Playing in the rain....

On a different note, I am telling you that the 5-minute bread dough is incredible. Not only does it turn out amazing loafs, the other recipes are incredible too. We used the Boule dough for their Caramel Sticky Buns and the European Peasant Bread dough for pizza dough and both were the best I've ever made.

Nudity goes with alot

--Edit: July 15th: since there are so many creepy people on the Internet and we've made our blog public again, the nude picture is removed. You still get the general idea.---

A homemade scarf and platinum shoes look good with nudity.

Or you for evening, you can never go wrong with a glamorous black/metallic scarf and your birthday suit.

Bar-b-que ribs are such a mess anyway, I say why not eat 'em nude?

And when you're using glitter to make your Valentines, it's much easier to make them whilst naked and just shower off afterward.

You know your child

needs a sibling when....

...when they carry around a ceramic statue (that you bought at Ross for $8), cuddling it, wanting to take it to bed and calling it her "baby sister."

Man kids know how to push the 'guilt button.'

The Violet Garden

Toward the end of January, Audrey and I started taking a Parent/Child class at a Waldorf preschool here in Sellwood. We have several friends whose kids attend the preschool itself and L-O-V-E it, but since we don't have plans for A to attend P.S. quite yet, we thought it could be fun to join this instead. 

It is soooo cool. Enchanting and peaceful. Not like any other sort of storytime, playgroup or date we have ever joined. (I leave feeling like I've had a glass of wine.) 'Ms. Jody' leads the class which starts each week with  quiet song while the kids grind grain for the bread that they make for their own snack. Then, the children play in her beautiful playroom which is furnished with all kinds of traditional wooden toys, dolls, etc. --all very well-worn and loved, while the mommies sit and work on a craft (materials provided) and fold linens. (Everything in Waldorf is intentionally done.) Later, we sit at the pint-sized wooden table where the kids knead and form their dough into buns, adding raisins (or eating them all) and even making a roll to take home to daddy. Then, we go back into the playroom to tidy the room, sing songs and listen to rhymes, returning to the table to eat the bread with cinnamon-butter and tea. After that it's time for a puppet show and then outside to play in the uber-cool yard that is covered with hay and contains all manner of fun spots for kids' imaginations to run wild. There are even chickens. It is an absolute kid-heaven.  (There's no regular preschool on Thursday's so the only children are in the P/C class, which is limited to 5 couples.)

Pictures below are in reverse chronological order. 

Audrey and Delilah hold hands on the swing

A eating bread dough. No, not bread. Dough. You'd think I never fed the child. 

Audrey eating raisins instead of putting them in her bread.

Ms. Jody and Audrey grinding grain for the bread

Kneading the dough...

The kiddies 'clean up' after each activity, to the tune of a very mellow song about a gnome who said 'let's clean up our room' 

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

I wasn't sure that I believed it, but it's true. In the quest to bake artisan-quality bread, I stumbled across this book: Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking.

I bought it from Amazon, wondering how any book could get SUCH rave reviews and incredulous that it is actually possible. Well it is. And let me tell you, I've now read quite a few books on bread baking and most of them do require a good deal of time, effort, equipment and materials to be on par with what the authors call for. This book, on the other hand, couldn't make it easier. AND, perhaps the thing that I love most is that they have eliminated every possible step that is not needed--including kneading. (Pardon the pun.) It's CRAZY. You can even mix it in one bowl. The authors may not like me for telling you the secret, but here it is: they have developed a very simple dough recipe that has a very wet consistency and therefore can be stored for up to 14 days in the fridge. So all you do is mix together water, yeast, salt and flour(s)--just barely mixing, no need to knead, let it rise and then store in the fridge. Then you just take a blob out every day, letting it rest for 20 minutes before baking. And bake. And let me tell you-- we baked our first loaf today and devoured the entire thing while still hot. And it actually even looked like the cover of the book. SO SIMPLE! And there's enough dough in the fridge for 5 more loaves.  (I made one batch of boule dough and one of European Peasant dough). Several other super cool things: 1.) Supposedly, the bread only gets better and better as the dough ages in the fridge, creating it's own 'sourdough.'  2.) The book is chalked full of simple variations on the basic recipe (rolls, sweets, etc.) and includes recipes for using bread as a main ingredient, as well as uses for stale bread. 3.) It's a quick read and they completely demystify many of the things that prohibit the common man from attempting artisan bread (that you need fancy, expensive ingredients, etc.) At $4-$6 a loaf for artisan quality, think of how much money you'll save!

I HIGHLY encourage you to purchase the book yourself. In the quest to eat healthier and avoid all those breads with so many preservatives, etc.--this book makes it SUPER easy to bake fresh bread as often as you'd like. Not to mention the fact that making the dough really and truly does only take 5 minutes and you don't have that annoying flour-mess all over your kitchen and multiple rising times, which, for me, has been the primary deterrents from baking bread more often. 

Oh--and a few tips: I have only just discovered the virtue and pleasure of shopping for kitchen stuff at restaurant supply stores. HOLY COW--where have I been all these years? Buh-bye William Sonoma and no--not even Target can beat these prices, not to mention the fact that restaurants expect higher quality than regular consumers. Flour & bread dough storage containers that retail for $16 each (plus lids!) at KingArthur.com sell for $3.50 at my local restaurant supply. 

- I still used my cast iron skillet method, rather than a baking stone + water as recommended and the magical crackle was still there. Will definitely do a showdown test at some point.

- Instead of a pizza peel, I used my wooden cutting board to save a few bucks. On second thought- given my propensity for serious burns and mishaps, may be that would be money well spent. 

In any case, the 5 minute artisan bread baking is a truly groundbreaking discovery for domestic life. 

A revelation.

Everyone around me has probably always known this but has been far too kind to break it to me: I am a dork. 

I have always known that I am a goof, a bit unconventional...and unique in my own way. But isn't everybody?

Over the past few weeks, however, I have suddenly realized that this is far beyond the realm of normalcy. 

I think I may have a mild version Turret's syndrome. You know- the disorder where you blurt out cuss-words and have tics (spelling?) Only in my case, I blurt out abruptly direct questions/comments, etc.--not cruel or even meant to be rude-- just without much filter. Things that no extremely nice person would actually say (Denise!) even if they are thinking them. You may not believe it, but to me this trait has just always passed as openness/sincerity. And instead of twitching, I'm just extremely ungraceful and clumsy, obsessively multi-tasking, to the peril of each and every task. Just now, for example, while I was writing this, I heard a huge splash out in the kitchen. Assuming that it was my very low-end and loud dishwasher, I continued writing. When the lovely smells of lavender and burnt sugar wafted into my senses, I suddenly remembered that I was infusing a pot full of honey on low heat. I ran into the kitchen only to discover honey boiled out onto my entire ceramic cooktop. Burning and scorching...creating yet another mess for myself to clean up.

This is starting to sound like a different disorder altogether. When I was a kid my favorite cough drop was Sucrets. So I think I'll call it that. 

I am a dork and I blame it on my Sucrets.

How is it, exactly, that I have any friends?

I am a dork, suffering from Sucrets. Admitting it is always the first step, right?

Coolest Kids Furniture EVER.

An article about fun kids furniture in the Oregonian highlighted some seriously fun stuff. The Sobey Dresser and Anne Armoire at Straightline Designs are our faves...Bridge cabinet is SUPER clever as are many of their other pieces. Wonder how much they cost? Probably slightly pricier than IKEA. Darn.

P.S. Audrey sleeping in own toddler bed. New posting on this to follow.

Found this hilarious pic taken in Las Vegas- 2002, I believe. 

Elvis is alive peeps.

Symphony of Crackle

"How can you tell how good bread is without tasting it? Not the smell, not the look, but the sound of the crust. Listen. [bread crackles] Oh, symphony of crackle. Only great bread sound this way."

- Colette (Ratatouille)

If you love bread, this tip might just rock your world.

I am by no means a bread-baking expert. That being said, I have baked quite a few loaves and buns in my life. Most Danish people bake their own bread regularly and consider it no big deal. But most my breads & rolls, while tasty, have lacked that elusive and tell-tale crust of true artisan textures.

On a NY Times blog, I have discovered a tip from a famous NYC baker that has completely revolutionized my crusts. And best of all, it is super simple. It is no feat to create culinary masterpieces with tons of time and/or money. Most artisan bakers have amazing ovens, stones, equipment, etc. Simple rocks my world.

See sidebar, 'What's Cookin Hot Stuff' for the tip.

I am on a quest to learn how to make awesome but super quick/easy breads, so that we can have fresh bread more often. If anyone has tips or is interesting in joining me, let me know. 

Choosy Moms Choose Jif

It may be packed with fat, sugar and sodium, but it won't give you salmonella my friends.

Recent Peanut Butter recall does not include Jif.

So anyone who eats Jif does not have to worry.

Don't believe me? See here

Oh and did I mention that I am banned from doing Zumba, or from walking any more than absolutely necessary for 4-8 weeks?