Rooster's & Wheelie Karma



Most of you will not find it all surprising that we've been hearing a rooster cock-a-doodle-dooing every morning this week, out here in Oak-Hills-billly. Nonetheless, we were pretty taken aback when we first heard it. It is, after all, a brand-new housing tract.

At first, we looked at each other in dismay thinking, 'GREAT--goats are soon to follow.' But you know, the rooster is already growing on us. It's a cheery 'good morning' sound that makes me feel like I live someplace exotic, like the Provencal countryside. Unlike the sound of dirt-bike riders racing up and down my street, which adds no charm to life WHATSOEVER.

As long as I don't actually see my rooster neighbor, or he doesn't start making babies, he can stay.

P.S. Schadenfreude. Are we evil?

Please vote (via 'post remarks' below) for whether or not we are officially evil, based on the following scenario from real-life:

The aforementioned dirt bike riders drive us CRAZY with how OBLIVIOUS and INCONSIDERATE they are, revving their engines loudly up and down the street. Despite the fact that it is ILLEGAL (to ride on streets) and that they can roll/drive around in the dirt to their hearts' content in the desert located just 1 minute away, they feel the need to peel down my quiet residential street--waking up our sleeping baby...and the dead.

As mentioned, it's ILLEGAL. However, before calling the cops to make a report, we always try to talk to the person, appealing to their sense of decency. Usually, we tell them that they probably have no idea how extremely loud it is, that it's dangerous because there are lots of children playing outside, that our baby wakes up every time they screech by...oh- and did they realize that it's ILLEGAL?

So back to the evil part. There's this one 30-year old guy around the corner who does it all the time--rides up and down the streets--over and over again, revs his engine, does wheelies (spellcheck likes this version of the word). Our attempts at neighborly decency were met with: "Honey, this is what I do for a living, I'm not gonna stop." Me: "So you don't care AT ALL about anyone but yourself? You don't care that it's dangerous, illegal and highly disruptive to the peace of this neighborhood?" Wheelie-popping-jerk: "Nope."

Yesterday, Mike found out from a neighbor that this "professional" completely BIT THE DUST right outside Audrey's window a few days ago. Apparently, he was popping a wheelie, biffed it SO HARD that he had to be taken away by an ambulance. Ok, we cannot hide our ...Schadenfreude (once again, the perfect word.) Are we evil? Vote now...

Schadenfreude (pronounced: shahd-n-froi-duh): "malicious joy in the misfortune of others" (from German.)

"Touch and be touched"


Product Review: Nivea Smooth Sensation
Cheesy slogan aside, this new lotion from Nivea is the bomb. A long-time supporter of Nivea cream, this new version is deeply moisturizing, silky and not at all greasy. You gotta try it.

36: Part II, Reunion @ IHOP



Mike's parents had the fun idea to surprise him by inviting a few of his good friends from high school to a brief reunion at IHOP. Thinking that he was just out to eat with his parents, wife and baby, he certainly was surprised to see faces from the past meander over to our table.







A fun blast from the past!

36: Part I, Disneyland



So the first thing Mike wanted to do after turning 36? "I wanna go to Disneyland!" Neither of us had been in a while, but 500 bucks later we were in! (Holy-toledo they rake it. When's the last time you rented a locker at DL? Well don't waste your time rummaging for quarters like we did. No siiiiiirrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee: $7 for the smallest locker.)

Mike was wished a 'happy birthday' by 26 Disney Cast Members and sung to at a restaurant (he was wearing a button they gave him at the ticket counter.) Apparently, Galaga has always been his game so we had to hit this machine when we saw it!



Only one minor disturbance when a man behind us in line at House of Horrors told Mike that the coke he was drinking would dissolve nails. (To which Mike patiently replied: "Well it's a good thing I don't have any nails inside me then!") The guy then proceeded to tell us that if we wanted to look as good as he does at 68 years old, we'd better lay off all meat, sugar and dairy. (To which I replied: "yeah, dairy would be hard for me." Says the guy: "Dairy is just pus." Mike about spit out his coke and said, "excuse me?" "Pus," says the guy again. People in front of us turned around to glare. "What about mothers milk? That's the healthiest food on earth," I challenge. "Oh no" says healthy home-pops. " You gotta ween kids off that stuff as soon as possible." He then gestures proudly to the pretty young woman standing beside him and says, "and this isn't my daughter either."

As he continues to preach Mike's ear off, I attempted to make chit-chat with the woman (who looked about 25), "So...how did you two meet?" To which she replies in very broken English, "Don't speak English. Am Russian." Mystery solved. Poor girl.

Other than that, a wonderful time was had by all.

To our favorite guy, on his birthday.



Dear Daddy,

For your birthday, I've compiled a Letterman-style list of Top 10 reasons why you're the best daddy in the whole wide world:

10.) You let me scratch your eyes out with my razor-sharp nails and constantly make your sunglasses filthy.

9.) You feed me at just the right speed--not too fast; not too slow.

8.) You hug and kiss me all the time.

7.) You hug and kiss mommy all the time.



6.) You're really patient. With me, mommy--and everyone, in general.



5.)You work really hard to take care of us but always make time to just be together (hereunder playing fun stuff and letting me repeatedly knock over your block buildings).

4.) You give the best baths--absolutely on par with any world-class spa that I've ever been to.

3.) You've gone to almost every single doctor's appointment that I've ever had.

2.) You care about the stuff that really matters in life and sacrifice to make priorities realities. (Like giving up TV)

2.) You're really strong and athletic and you run fast. I hope you'll teach me some sports stuff someday. (Oops! Was there already a #2? Oh well, I'm like mommy: can't limit it to just 10; and I can't count yet anyhow.)

And the #1 reason that you're the best daddy in the whole wide world:
You are really funny. You're even willing to sacrifice your dignity by dancing with us to Gwen Stefani songs like 'If I were a rich girl' and 'Hollaback girl.'

Love Yours Truly,
Brandi and Audrey

'Wowser'- Use it.

So I subscribe to the Webster 'word of the day.' How cool is it to discover one single concise word that you've been missing all your life? Here are two recent ones:

Wowser: an obtrusively puritanical person.
Example (Webster's) : "I'm no wowser, but I draw the line at abusive, foul-mouthed drunks."
* An interesting tidbit: Apparently, the word originated in Australia, spread to New Zealand and eventually ended up in England (probably via WWI troops) where American author/editor H.L Menken heard it. Menken loved the word and used it frequently back in the United States. Despite his efforts, it never caught on. Well the word 'network' didn't exist back when Menken was alive and he'd never met Kelly, Denise or Brandi who, I am convinced, will carry on his work and, without a doubt, succeed in spreading the power of 'wowser.'

Another good one from last week:

Johnny Barleycorn: Liquor personified
Example (mine): "Audrey may enjoy a Newcastle here and again, but she's no John Barleycorn."

Fonzie jumps the shark tank


For those who may be wondering at the name of our blog: 'Fonzie jumps the shark tank' was Mike's brilliant, albeit random suggestion after the disappointing discovery that 'Morecowbell' was taken.

Also unbeknownst to most people (including myself), 'Jumping the Shark' has become a meaningful metaphor. (Click on 'Jumping the Shark' to read more on this subject so that you too can include it in your vocab.)

Lunch with the girls


Audrey had an impromptu lunch with her cousin Katie, Grandma and mommy at Mimi's yesterday. Katie enjoyed the famed 'Pizza-dilla' (think: pizza meets quesadilla) and 'Dirt Cup' (Oreo cookies, ice cream and gummy worms.) Audrey salivated in envy.

The Nappy Showdown


Ok, so call me weird, cheap, whatever. Ever since Audrey was born, I've been wondering whether or not the more expensive diapers are 'worth it.' I mean hey--the first three months of life they use about 12 per day (from there it slowly decreases to about 6-8). And just in case you haven't been in the market for diapers lately, let me tell you: they ain't cheap. Assuming you don't buy the smallest pack, which is obviously most expensive per diaper, they can still easily run $0.20 to $0.35 per unit on average. That's on average. There are always cheap, cheap diapers like Luvs, Cloud, Target brand, etc. But for the sake of this laboratory experiment, we stayed with the two most well-known brands: Huggies and Pampers. When Audrey was born, we tried all varieties of these brands and the hands-down best were Pampers Swaddlers. Soft like cloth diapers, absorbent, not bulky, etc. No contest. But these don't come in the larger sizes.

So for the past few months I've been bouncing back and forth between the regular old-fashioned regular Huggies Baby-Shaped Fit (Mega-box at CostCo, about $0.20 each), Huggies Supreme Natural Fit (their premium brand), Pampers Baby Dry and Pampers Cruisers (all of the aforementioned cost around $0.30 each) Pampers Baby Dry seemed to leak, so they were 'out'. The others seemed about the same, but then again what do I know? I'm not the one wearing them.

So I've been wondering how they would hold up in a test at the Coachella Lab Kitchen.

Three diapers Huggies Baby-Shaped, Huggies Supreme Natural Fit, and Pampers Cruisers



Each diaper was filled with 2ooml liquid



The pre-verbal jury watches intently, waiting for her parents to discover what she knew long ago.



Each diaper was then tested for wetness & leakage....




....as well as comfort (defined and measured by how bulky & lumpy the nappy felt when wet)



And the winner is: Diaper C--Pampers Cruisers. Not only was there zero wetness when a paper towel was pressed onto the diaper for 5 seconds, but it stayed remarkably soft, smooth and thin, whereas both other diapers bulked up considerably. With that being said, both Huggies performed only slightly worse than the Pampers. Further both Huggies measured the same in wetness, although the Huggies Supreme is made of slightly softer material.

In the end, our verdict is that because of the significant cost-savings ($0.10 each) we will probably continue using the regular Huggies for regular day-to-day nappies, which are frequently changed anyways. For nighttime and traveling however, Pampers Cruisers are our absolute new fave.



Audrey celebrates the results with a Newcastle.

Reflections on Faith


Reflecting upon Audrey's baptism, I'm reminded of how faith is two very different things at the same time: a gift--and a response.



Nothing speaks more to me about the Creator's nature than the natural world itself. Think about it: God could have made everything purely functional without any aesthetic consideration whatsoever: no sound or melody...black and white...bland..tasteless...without texture or fragrance, talent or design.
(Speaking of talent and design: photo's courtesy of Jay Vanos)



This is a view from grounds at the Wayfarers Chapel, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Being at the ocean makes me feel small in a good way (as opposed to feeling small in a bad way; like when I'm driving around L.A. freeways.)

Physically inhaling moist, salty ocean air is like exhaling the fullest, most restorative sigh from deep down in my soul. In this unfathomably large universe with its vast, unending oceans, I am minuscule. Still, God knows my baby, my husband...me... and every thought each of us will ever have. And cares for us. That's when it's good to be small.




There is also something inexplicably healing about music--especially a human voice singing from the heart. Jeanie sang a very special blessing for Audrey at her Christening...

Forever Young (Bob Dylan)
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Audrey's Christening


After getting up at 4.30 am to drive down to Palos Verdes, Audrey and her Daddy enjoy a moment outside the Wayfarers Chapel before changing clothes.


This Christening gown has been used in Mike's family since 1857!!! (I have 'white' blouses that are 6 months old and don't look this good.) The lace on her bonnet is from mommy's wedding dress.)


The faithful of the faithful drove all the way to the South Bay to attend an 8am Christening. Held at the gorgeous Wayfarers Chapel, it was a special day for Audrey, her parents and her friends and family.

For us, baptizing Audrey was a time to declare that we realize that she came from- and belongs to- God. We have been entrusted with her care and in her baptism we promised to demonstrate God's love for her--first and foremost by personal example. In doing so, it is our hope that she will grow in her own, personal love and awareness of God and choose to follow Him through her life's journey.

This beautiful chapel was built by Lloyd Write and made of Redwood and glass.



The lace on Audrey's bonnet is from Brandi's wedding dress.

What a pious child--lifting her hands to bless the people. Perhaps the pose the baby Jesus strikes in most painting's isn't so affected after all.

May be the next 'Mother Teresa' is among us...? :)

The Shaw/Probst clans

The Morris/Vanos/Handley/Orr clans

Grandma & Grandpa

The Shaw aunties

Auntie Lisa

Audrey's many beloved cousins

Audrey's Great Grandparents: Papa, Jean & Nana

The Great Grandparents & Hal & Donna Handley