Release with Hope

"The Prayer of Relinquishment is a bona fide letting go, but it is a release with hope. We have no fatalistic resignation. We are buoyed up by a confident trust in the character of God.

Even when all we see are the tangled threads on the backside of life's tapestry, we know that God is good and is out to do us good always.

That gives us hope to believe that we are the winners, regardless of what we are being called upon to relinquish."
--(from David Foster's 'Prayer')

How true this is, but how difficult, in reality to truly believe that God is good and is always out to do us good in every situation. I don't know about you, but despite God's longstanding and well-proven goodness, I still struggle with relinquishing all to Him and constantly wait 'for the other shoe to drop.' In fact, the more I am blessed, the more just the thought of suffering turns my stomach and incites fear to avoid it at all cost.

I am not proud of this. And it struck me yesterday, during a very poignant moment with God, that this is exactly why the rich young ruler, who so longed to follow Jesus, ended up walking away from him sad. That he was so blessed but simply could not bear the thought of laying those blessings down.

It is easy to abandon your life when there is nothing compelling to live for. Living with an open hand is much easier said than done. How to receive with joy the gifts God provides and still bless His name when he takes them away?

Blessed are the poor in spirit because they smile authentically and hugely, despite the fact that their babies are malnourished. While me, I stew anxiously at the thought of any part of my world being diminished. For my expectations are high and I have much to lose.

"...but he went sadly away." I always wondered how could he be that foolish, despite his passion. Yes, now I understand.