Ode to Paula
Can I just interrupt my 'catching up streak' to say that Paula Deen kicks absolute culinary butt?!
I mean, come on. Pretention, vegetarianism and health-consciousness aside: the woman loves butter almost as much as Audrey and me. She wraps just about every freaking thing she makes in bacon and then usually also coats it with batter or cheese. As if this wasn't enough, even her 'healthier' sweets--such as trail mix, contain sweetened condensed milk. Seriously, people. Pontificate on the virtues of haute cuisine; truth be told, if you were stranded on a deserted island and could choose only one person to cook for you for the rest of your forsaken life, no reasonable person in this universe would choose anyone but Paula.
I was reminded of this because I borrowed a DVD of her Food Network series from the library.
Though Jesus is building His church on Peter, I am 100% certain that He gave Paula the keys to the culinary kingdom and that she will be standing next to old Saint Pete at the pearly gates refusing admittance to all of the people who use light sprays of PAM and profess to love salad without dressing. So don't bother complaining to the management when you get turned away; Jesus has already said, in so many words, that He will say to you, 'I was hungry and you gave me Wasa. Paula, on the other hand, gave me deep-fried, bacon-wrapped macaroni balls. An act of love equal to pouring oil on my feet. Away from me you anorexic, culinary Pharisee! I know you not!'
God bless Paula Deen's bacon-wrapped heart.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
I love Paula Dean!! She is my favorite. Such a real person and so much butter! In the winter months, I cook up a big batch of her taco soup at least once a month. Easy and tasty and actually not all that bad for you (until you top it with cheese and sour cream).
That's the way we Southerners eat! Have you seen Paula make her hamburger patties? She even puts little chunks of butter in them! By the way I hope you will be home Labor Day weekend because we are coming to visit!
I am constantly amazed at the way she cooks, but in that, "Do I DARE?!?" kind of way. The way that you know the food will give you a heart attack but will taste divine on the way down.
Praise Jesus for Paula Dean! I'm going to have to look up that taco soup Liz mentioned.
Finally! Someone not afraid to proclaim it! With Paula Dean, portion control be damned!!!!!
Post a Comment