Public. Private. Public.

So we've had so many issues adding people to the permissions thing which didn't always seem to work for some reason (so sorry for those of you who were never able to come on even after we added your names) that we decided to go public again. 

Not that we ever even post. 

I guess there've been myriad reasons for that, which are well-covered territory, but nevertheless here they are again:

1.) Time. 

Time on the computer is almost always 'stolen'. Stolen from my hubbie, Audrey, or God, just good-ole-quiet alone-with-me time, or calling friends & family (which is already hard enough to find uninterrupted time for!)...or reading time (all those books that are calling my name!)...or exercise...or sleep...or email time...

2.) Interest.

I guess it seems a little boring to write about the every day trivialities of home life and at the other extreme, a little too...exposed to air out more personal thoughts, etc. ...and when I did, I found myself censoring too much so as not to offend the views of people who (used to) read this blog so....it just got stale.

3.) It takes too long to upload pictures.

 

Which is really the main reason that people look at blogs anyways, isn't it? I found myself getting behind...and then getting discouraged and then I'd make vows and promises to 'catch up' but never did...and then it just became another chore.

So why am I even keeping this thing? I'm not sure. Can I find a reason to keep it, the mojo to make it happen, and the moderation to not feel guilty that I'm wasting precious seconds of my day ?

A mission. A purpose. That's what I need. A Purpose-Driven Blog. I can't see it now: t-shirts, hats, pens, journals, coffee-mugs. Yeah, that's it.

But there are so many blogs out there. What is there to say that hasn't everything already been said? 

In some ways it feels like there is nothing new under the sun and all is vanity, as the writer of Ecclesiastes once aptly said.

Before closing, I'll tell you about some recent happenings (within a week or so) that you could probably care less about:

- Our beloved McCormicks came and visited us over the 4th of July weekend. We did all kinds of fun stuff like a jet boat ride on the Willammette, a kiddie-parade, watching Audrey playing in the Jamison park fountains, eating way too much and just generally sitting around eating and drinking too much. And getting into a funk when they left.

- New good friends here in Pdx, Sonja and Luc, were married. It was a fun-filled week of bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and a beautiful and sweet wedding in Forest Grove, Oregon. Lovely people, loverly day. G.K. Chesterton said something that I feel is excellent and wise, even if it does reveal some jaded shadow to my own heart: "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost." 

- In an effort to help my friend save some $, I baked and iced about 160 cupcakes for the wedding. And though I've baked many a cupcake, I never did understand why many caterers charge an outrageous $7 or more per cupcake. Now I do.  I had never piped so many freakin' flower petals in my dern life. Three kinds: carrot w/ cream cheese icing, dark chocolate w/ ganache & a rose-water buttercream, and last but not least spice w/ maple cream & bacon. yes, bacon. You gotta try it. Weird but it works.

- My friend, Jen and I, went to a Coldplay concert.  FANTASTIC. But now I'm haunted by a few songs that I cannot seem to get out of my head. 

- Today Audrey and I biked over to a playgroup where they threw sand at each other and loved it...and to my dismay (and probably to that of every single person we passed on the street) she cried the whole way home because it was past nap time and her mommy waited too long to leave. Darn it that we're both so social.

- Tonight we had friends over for dinner which is all well and good (European Peasant dough makes excellent Naan, we discovered), but best of all we had Roed Groed med Floede. Do you know what that is?

Literally translated from Danish it's 'red porridge with cream'. In actuality it's a red porridge with cream. Or more specifically: you puree red berries (+ I added some cooked rhubarb) with sugar and top it off with whipped cream (laced with real vanilla beans & a splash of almond extract). Serve in a bowl. So simple, so incredibly delicious. Except for one problem.

It makes me miss Denmark even more than I already do.

Yes, I still do. And I feel so guilty about it because God is, as always, soooo generous and good to me. (Although now that I've said that, some tragedy is just bound to strike. That's my theology in a nutshell.) Married to an amazing guy (who is so great that he actually 'gets' my missing DK and isn't even threatened by it at all), blessed with an angelic daughter, faithful friends here in the U.S., love Portland and our life here...but Denmark. I can't seem to get it out of my heart, like an unfinished gestalt.  I miss people and things...and I can just picture Gitte and Marian at Oasis camping in the Danish summer night right now. Camping in a way that only Danish people know how to camp. With preaching and singing and lots of bbq-ing and smoking and wine and beer. Yes, all at a church camp. That kind of says it all and I miss it. And I also realize that all of this is part and parcel of living in a broken world. As Larry Crabb put it in his book 'Inside Out', that even when our lives are happiest and without tragedy, we walk around with a sense deep in our hearts, that all is not as it is should be. Nor will it ever be. Not on this side of heaven.' 

Still, I ache to be there...that place where I grew up and spent such precious, growing years of my life...sitting outside of an old camper (where Audrey's already sleeping), together with Mike and our friends and a glass of vino...watching the sun not go down. Not all the way.