Courtesy of Kelly...

Photos of our babies...and family

*not seen in this photo is Kellen's mommy in an uncomfortable squat, hovering just below the frame, with hands up the entire time.

* You may, or may not be able to see how extremely tired the parents in this photo are.

Isn't Kelly so incredibly talented?

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I give to you...

The Violet Garden Preschool Class of 2010.

Classmates, from left to right:

Back row: Calvin (Maki; 'the dreamy Calvin'), Angus, Kennedy, Gideon, Zachary

On sofa: Ms. Annette, Eleanor, Ruby, Ravi, Nola, Ms. Jody, Calvin (R.)

Front: Ms. Meg, Tessa, Lucy, Leighla, Anna, Audrey

Kellen @ 5 weeks

* This picture courtesy of Molly Winn- our friend, best friend of Kelly, and photographer/proprietor of Molly Winn Photography.

Our little guy is already 5 weeks old!

In addition to being delicious enough to kiss constantly, our guy seems to be a fun mix of easy going (in spite of some discomfort--more on that later) and feisty at the same time. A total love bug.

He's a keeper.

P.S. More pictures of Kellen soon to arrive from Aunt Kelly! See one more here.

PSA

Public Service Announcement

We interrupt these festive tidings of the recent birth of our newest family member to bring information valuable to the public broadcasting audience: how to remove Flubber from hair. (Flubber is a gelatinous, sticky material made out of water, white glue and borax. Extremely strange stuff.)

A couple of weeks ago, Audrey received a small container of Flubber in a party favor box. Ecstatic, she had only held it in her hands about 60 seconds before she just HAD to put it on her head. Bad idea.

Flubber absorbs its way into hair about as fast as water would. Unlike gum, it didn't need to work its way in--it was just automatically a gooey mass of hair, completely inseparable.

So what does a mother do? Laptop, please. Google search: 'how to get flubber out of hair'. Results? Turns out good old fashioned mayo does the job. You have to massage it in for a few minutes, dissolving the glue bond in the Flubber, then shampoo & rinse. Then you get to have greasy hair for several days because mayo is a deep conditioner of sorts.

Happy Birthday...

Kellen Henri Morris

Born at 12:58 am this morning, May 7, 2010.

7lb. 140z, 20 inches.

Precious.

Seeing Audrey and he meet for the very first time was one of the most adorable scenes that I have ever witnessed in my life.

Sad.

For the past many months I have been very aware of the fleetingness of these last precious moments together with Audrey as my 'only child.' Every little thing we do together seems extra special and almost every time I look at her throughout the day, I feel teary and nostalgic. Appreciative.

What an amazing little person that calls me 'mommy/mama.' As Henri says, "Children are honored guests." Indeed they are and my little daughter is truly an angel come to earth. (I'm not claiming she's perfect...just that she is a heavenly gift.)

When I think back to how much she has changed my life...inspired me to be so much more than anything or anyone else before her, I feel guilty. That first week after she was born, I recall what mixed emotions --bliss and absolute, total love! Annoyance, resentment, misery. Sleep-deprivation, hormones and wondering if life would ever be 'normal' again...whether we'd ever sleep or watch a movie in peace again. Dreading the future stretching out into endless diaper changes, feedings, baths, laundry. Oh the mundaneness of it all. And hence, the guilt. To be honest, surrender is a long process. One will probably always be underway. But somehow there was a definite turning point when it occurred to me: what other better or more worthwhile thing did I have to do? Was anything in my former independent life more worthwhile or significant than sacrificing for, investing in-, loving and nurturing this little person entrusted to me for such a short time?

Oh sure, I can still long for the control of a structured workday, work clothes, the kudos of a job finished and well-done. The paycheck :) I miss reading a book without interruption and being the master of my own day with few responsibilities for anyone outside of myself. The sleep.

But what is all of that worth compared with the flowers and weeds that my little girl picks for me every single time we're on a walk? Her 'gifts' --feathers she finds ("feathers that eagles left"), drawings. Her laughs or deep appreciation for the smallest of joys a fort in the living room, digging in the dirt, a craft together...or perhaps best of all those tight little hugs and sighs when she nuzzles up to me and says "Ooooooo I LOVE you mommy." The stories she tells. How she tries to help me with everything...I could go on and on.

Every time I give her a bath or dress her I marvel at how this strong little child-body was once as small and flailing as the one inside of me now. That tiny newborn is now a kid. A bona fide kid. How quickly life passes. And baths and stories and diaper changes and hugs and kisses and feedings. This is life. A million tiny moments strung together like beads on a string.

I hope that this second time around, I can slow down enough from the very beginning to treasure each and every one.

Message to 3 people.

3 responses.

Last night, after watching 'Lord, save us from your followers!' on Netflix, I was overwhelmed with the urge to name our coming son, Bono.

I mean, seriously: Bono ROCKS. Ok, truth be told I know next to nothing about what he's like as a husband, father, etc. But as an artist? Genius. As a force for change in the world? Social Justice? Philanthropy? Being for the things Christ would be for? Absolutely.

For those of you who don't know, we have really struggled to decide on a boy name. There are lots of 'nice' names but they're either too common, don't sound right with our last name, already used by close family and friends, and so forth. We've got our short list, but just haven't had that 'Yes! This is it!' experience.

So last night, I was thinking what a cool name and namesake Bono would be. Even so, I can't see pulling the trigger on that one but for fun I sent out an email this morning to 3 friends:

Subject line: Found a name.

Body of email: Bono (Jude?) Morris.

Each response was hilariously indicative of the personalities of each of these beloved people. (Responses are in quotes below.)

First, the ever diplomatic but forthright Kelly:

"I dig. Very cool. He's gonna have to have major cool-cojones to wear it, but I think your kid could pull it off."

2nd, blatently frank and hilarious Lindsay:

"No. Try again."

3rd, the ever-supportive and earnest Mish:

"That's awesome!

Yay for finding a name!!!!!"

To say that I love these 3 is a massive understatement.

P.S. On a totally different note: MAJOR stroke of luck today. After getting my haircut, stopped into the Gap where a big sale was happening (not sure why I did this since I am obviously not fitting into normal-sized clothing at this point in time. I think it had something to do with feeling like this was a final moment of freedom, probably for a long while.) Found a super cute $89 sand colored light canvas trench on the sale racks marked down to $6.99. Asked sales lady what was wrong with it since it was marked down so severely. 'Oops!' she says. 'That's supposed to be $69.99!!!' They offered it to me for the marked price. SOLD and MAJOR SCORE!!!!!!!!!

White bread

Commercial sandwich bread has changed alot in my lifetime. When we were kids, most wheat breads were dry and exceptionally heavy. For the most part, my mom bought the best-tasting of these 'wheat' bread varietals: 'Home Pride' or, if she was really on a health-kick, 'Roman Meal' both of which, in retrospect, are actually white bread with small flecks of wheat and some caramel-coloring. Kinda funny.

I don't remember having every kid's fantasy-Wonder Bread in our house, but we must have at some point because I remember how smushy and thin it was. (Side note: am I the only one who despised (still do) room temp lunchbox sandwiches? Made in the morning, but by lunch time disgusting? Lukewarm turkey or ham...all curled up...dry and translucent mustard and mayo. Bleck. Even PB&J lost all it's appeal by noon. But I digress...and feel a separate blog posting regarding this issue coming on...)

Wheat bread has come a long way since then. Nowadays when I buy sandwich bread, I look for one that has minimum 4 grams of fiber per slice and no high fructose corn syrup, etc. (Gotta get that fiber in to compensate for the LC's , right?!) Modern technology has made it possible to have this high fiber bread with excellent taste and still nice, moist and fresh tasting.

In my adult years, with the exception of buying french or sourdough loaves, I don't think I've bought a loaf of true white sandwich bread. It has been a very, very long time since I've had a sandwich on white, unless it was a baguette or something like that.

Until February. When, for my friend Kara's shower (a tea), I bought Country Potato or Buttermilk or something like that to make English tea sandwiches on. Standing in Costco, I asked a couple buying such loaves, whether it was 'good bread.' With a look of annoyance, the wife said, 'I buy it for him (pointing to a happy looking, chubby guy standing next to her.) But to me it tastes like cake.'

So I bought it and sure enough: chicken salad on cake, cucumber cream cheese on cake, egg salad on cake--and so on. Admittedly tasty, also definitely not as filling/satisfying as a sandwich on wheat (need I even mention, less healthy?) And we do really like good wheat bread in this house. In fact, when I had the white bread in the house for the tea, I made Mike and Audrey some toast with it--but she wasn't having it. ' I want my wheat toast!!!!!' she implored. A proud moment for a mom. When kidlet wasn't listening, hubby confessed how delicious it was and how it made French Toast infinitely superior to that made with wheat bread.

Incidentally, I confess to being very embarrassed to having white bread in my shopping cart. Nowadays, it's kind of like having cigarettes in your basket. Another confession: I almost never buy wheat hot dog or hamburger buns and yet never feel any embarrassment about that. I ponder the hypocrisy...

Nevertheless, today at the market while shopping for sandwich materials (we have no use of our kitchen sink as the surrounding area is being re-tiled), I found myself buying one loaf of wheat...and one loaf of white. Is this the slippery slope to the good old-fashioned American malnutrition and/or obesity? I know a couple friends are rolling their eyes at what they might see as 'holier than thou' food philosophy while others are shrieking in horror, having lost all respect for my culinary discretion. But when all else fails, I ask myself WWTDID? Translated: 'What would they do in Denmark?' And in Denmark it is a well-known fact that 'French loaves' are served alongside the heavy Rugbroed (Ryebread of a particularly dense variety). Ok, so sensible Danish consensus would be that only children and unhealthy souls eat more than one piece of the 'Franskbroed' at a sitting.

Do you buy white bread?

Happy Birthday Honey!

Today the love of my heart turns 39.

An incredible father and husband...Audrey and I are two of the luckiest girls in the world.

I hope you will live a long, long, long time babe. And me too. Because despite your noble wish that I remarry and be happy if you die before me, my friends have sworn a solemn vow to make sure that you never remarry. Moreover, I would haunt you. I'm just selfish and immature like that. :)

Pink

Two pink things going on in our home:

1. Pink muscat grapes = YUUUUUMM.

If you've never tasted them, you must. New Seasons Market has them right now. Somewhat tough skins but an incredible, fragrant, honey-like jelly-ish center. A work of art straight from nature.

2. Pink eye = YUUUUUCK.

***I considered it but will spare you the photo after all***

Audrey contracted her first case of it on Friday. Talk about DISGUSTING! In the space of just a few hours, her eyes went from watery looking, to oozing yellow goo and then crusting shut and red, swollen and blood-shot. Antibiotic drops hastily improved the situation but when her mommy woke up with an ever-slightly-sticky eye, she immediately got herself a prescription as well. Call me paranoid but I do NOT need another malady with the birth of our baby imminent.

If you've never had it, it looks pertty darn ugly.

I'm not so sure about this preschool thing. Feels like paying 100% tuition to send your kid 20% of the time and catch disgusting diseases the other 80%.

Invasion of the body snatchers.

It's a baby invasion, in case you didn't know it. It's kind of crazy, actually. Just among my own friends, here they are (those who are ready to admit it, anyway.)

These are in order of (expected) arrival...

Kara and Ainsley Bea (born in January)

This was taken at the shower I hosted for Kara, after Ainsley Bea's arrival. Ainsley is Kara's 3rd daughter!

Myself

First belly shot back on our anniversary in September--taken in Vancouver B.C.

Funny, how I felt so huge already at this point. Silly, silly girl.

Mrs. Sonja Barclay-Schloss

Ok, this pic was taken last August at Audrey's birthday party and I should show a more recent pic but I'm way behind on keeping my photo albums current.

Sonja's due 2 weeks after me, having a wee-girl--her 2nd daughter. Firstborn, Ava Moon, is super pumped.

My dear, sweet, Gitte

A very, very old picture because I cannot find a newer one. We were last together last Winter, at which time I think we were just happy to be seeing each other amidst the happy rush of Marian's wedding and the depressing overwhelm of all of our kids taking turns being sick. I think we just forgot to take any pictures.

At any rate, Gitte is a very brave (read: crazy) woman who is about to give birth to #4 in July. She's already got one son and 2 daughters. I think she's about to make it 3 little ladies in the house. Just my hunch.

Mrs. Phoebe Elizabeth Fillmore

This picture was also taken last summer (man do I need to take more pictures, or what?) (photo ruthlessly stolen and edited from Phoebe's blog, to crop out her husband. The original photo was given to Phoebe by the photographer, my sister, Kelly Ry who, I'm sure will deeply appreciate her work being massacred like this.)

Anyway- Phoebe is also a brave (read: crazy) woman, daring to bring child #4 into the world--coming summer 2010. She's mama to Henry, Calvin and Agnes. And I think it's gonna be another girl.

P.S. Phoebe says that her Vietnamese manicurists have a 100% accurate gender-prediction rate.

P.S.S. How do these people (Gitte and Phoebe) not want to know whether they're having boys or girls? It kinda bugs me that they won't find out just to appease MY curiosity.

Mrs. Bong. Lindsay Bong.

Just back from Indonesia and one of my favorite peeps here in Pdx, Mrs. Bong is expecting her first child at the end of September. She is already quite sure that her progeny will be gifted due to strategic inter-racial breeding and her birth plan is to have an epidural started before labor begins. Her loving and adorable husband, Koes, read the book 'The Expectant Father', in its entirety, the very first weekend that they found out they were about 4 weeks pregnant. SOOO cute.

Mrs. Julie Braden

This mommy and her hot new hair-do are baking up this long-awaited baby #2, due this Fall. Big sister Sarah is overwhelmed with anticipation and Julie's husband, Matt (Mike's we-almost-can't-explain-how-they-are-related-cousin), is suuuuuper excited about recent health-care reform which will mean that his new baby can now be born into a world where no child will be excluded from insurance coverage due to pre-existing conditions. : )

Lucky Charms Philosophy.

Man, I am on a roll.

A blogging roll (hahaha). I figure I might as well go with it while it lasts.

I just have to follow up on this Lucky Charms thing. I had a major revelation about myself and how I've changed...and how I eat Lucky Charms is a true microcosm of that change.

You see, when I was a child and we occasionally got to eat Lucky Charms (it was only a rare occasion. Mom cared that we had 'healthy' cereal most days unlike some 'cool/relaxed mom's' that I know who's initials are K.P. and who always, always has L.C.'s in stock), I always ate the 'boring' oaty-cereal parts first, leaving all of the charms for last. Seriously, I would eat around the marshmallow charms and save them for the end.

As an adult, I just scoop em right up at the same time. I don't save them--no way. Why should I? Life is too short to play it safe and prudent, saving the best for last. Nah, I say eat your charms right away because who knows whether you will even be around in 4 minutes? And if you die before you eat your charms, how lame is THAT?!

* I used to do that with my burgers too--saving the middle for last. And so on and so forth with many things in life....but it's just too darn short.

P.S. I think that there might be a biological reason as to why baby is craving L.C.'s--and it can be found on the packaging, as shown. Folic acid and Iron. It's 50% of my daily requirement of the former and 25% of the latter. I mean, everyone knows that pregnant ladies are supposed to take extra folic acid. And my blood test results showed that I am anemic and need to boost my iron intake. So the way I figure it, these are practically medicinal. Right? (Help me out here.)

Don't you wish...

...that you lived right down the street from me so that you could come over and have a piece of this delicious cake that I made just this afternoon?

It's Pioneer Woman's 'Best Chocolate Sheet Cake. Ever.' recipe. It is deeeeelicious. * I left out the nuts on about half of it, adding nuts + coconut for Mike on the rest. It's the kind of cake that you eat hot out of the oven, directly out of the pan with a spoon. No joke.

Baby wanted cake and like Jesus says: if your baby asks you for cake do you give him a vegetable? (Or something to that effect.) Baby has also wanted Lucky Charms lately which, if you know me at all, is against everything I believe in and know to be right with the world. But somehow they just taste sooooo right. And yet, am I walking a very fine line...am I on a slippery slope of hypocrisy since I have to eat them secretly while my daughter sleeps? I'm just not ready to explain why Lucky Charms are like wine or beer. Nutritionally void and not for kids. So until further notice, I sneak a bowl in the office with Mike while she naps...or after she's in bed at night. Man, do I sound like a crazy pregnant woman or what?

Final Days...

Our little pumpkin (still baking.)

I have been getting some serious heat-not only for not blogging but for not sending any recent pics of prego-me. So here you go, friends: a picture taken just a couple days ago, of me and ma' beg bellay.

Realistically, I guess that my being so bad at blogging this past year and a half or so means that there's almost no hope whatsoever that there will be any new posts once our little guy arrives...but like my honey says, 'it's good to set the bar really, really low because then you can only be pleasantly surprised!' Good advice, methinks. So there- the bar has been set very low and neither you, nor I will feel let down if these postings remain scarce. Anything's better than nothing, right?

Admittedly, part of it has been a conscious decision to work on being more 'in the now'--and it's hard to be in the now when you're constantly seeing life through a photo lens or envisioning every happening as a prospective blog posting. But since I'm not on Facebook and I do, dearly want to keep our out of town friends, I'll do my best. I sure miss you guys, by the way...

Update: was just at the midwife today and all looks good. Despite feeling like I am ready to pop, it doesn't appear that I will. At a time when I cannot see any body party below my tummy, am daily asked 'are you having twins?' or 'you really look like you're ready to have that baby!', I will revel in the compliments of my midwife who told me today that she would have 'killed to have a pelvis like mine that was just perfect for birthing babies!' and 'what a lovely, soft and perfect cervix!' One takes what one can get, people.

On a different note, I am quite in love with my midwife, Hellen. If ever I've had a female hero, it must be her. She is an absolute miracle--so kind, loving and nurturing --and WHAT AN EXPERT! Her experienced hands told me that baby's head is very low, that he is laying on his side, and that, despite my 'feeling'--he's not a ginormous child whose birth will make it into the Yahoo! news headlines. In her exact words, "no, he's not a peanut. but he's also not particularly large." We'll see. My nedre regions certainly hope she is right.

Here are a couple recent pics of Audrey--

On Easter--which turned into a 'princess party'...(strange how inborn that stuff is.)

At her first dentist appointment

...and with her Daddy, right after naptime, munching cookies. This happens to be the weekend, but 6 out of 7 days, when she wakes up on the afternoon, Daddy is the only one she wants to see for about 15 minutes. Lucky girl has a Daddy who lets her snuggle up for a cuddle--even in the middle of a work day.

Feet on fire.

I wish I had a picture to show you of how heinous my feet look right now. 6 whole days after removing tape that a physical therapist put on the top of my feet, I suddenly broke out with a severe allergic reaction exactly where the tape was placed. Having showered daily and even been swimming 3 times, it is a total mystery to me how this is even possible. Not to mention the fact that although I've always had somewhat sensitive skin, I have never had any specific latex allergy, etc. No medical professional or specialist has been able to figure out what is going on or cure me. No systemic or topical ointment, natural cure, etc. has helped. Not even a tiny bit.

Can I just tell you how miserable it is to be mega-pregnant and have your feet burning and itching all day and night long, without any relief whatsoever? For 7 days so far. Really, really fun.

A true case of 'when the cure is worse than the disease'. The taping was done to ease my sciatica. Yeeeeeha.

Room Makeover

Well, we needed some serious intention to figure out how to fit two children and all their stuff into this not-so-big room. Step one was lightening it up with a brighter color. The yellow we chose may not represent well on screen and is slightly greenish at night (not the desired effect) but looks very cheery and bright during the day--which is the most important thing in a small room with no direct sunlight, right?

Best buddies

And Ta-DA!

My loving husband painted quite a few coats of yellow to cover up the green (who knew green was that tough?) and I painted the little mural to match A's bedspread, as well as the things above baby's crib. I can't draw or paint worth a darn so it's kind of shocking that I undertook this. It was basic, so I'm pretty happy with it.

The 'reading corner'

A good reminder for anxious mommies....:)

Very simple, modern crib minus bumper. Had one made but it just didn't fit or look right. So we've decided to stay minimalist.

In addition to what you see, we converted our coat closet to a wardrobe for A's clothing (yes, even little women seem to need more space than men) and the built-in in the actual bedroom is organized for toys + baby's clothing.

Mission accomplished!

Peeking into the innermost parts...

We almost didn't have a 4-D scan done of this little guy...It was really fun and special to have done it with Audrey but it did also feel like we were potentially seeing something that we were not meant to see....something so hidden and intimate--the weaving together of someone in my innermost parts!

But my loving husband pointed out that this was also a very slippery slope...the sad destiny of the second child. The first? Full baby book, 4-D scan, pictures of mommy's tummy growing week by week, natural childbirth, etc. The second? One tummy picture and an epidural right from the start (just kidding but who knows?). Anyway, for that reason alone, we decided to get the 4-D scan and it was amazing and so sweet. Can you believe he's yawning? * For those of you who aren't used to seeing ultrasounds in 3 or 4-D, the baby might look a little freaky (and who knows, he might be!), but the distortion and blurriness you see in his features is due to the fluid. For example, up by his left eye, that is the umbilical cord causing the blurriness.

7 months.

Poor baby #2--here we are, 7 months into this pregnancy and just doing my first blog posting. May be he is a private person?

At about 2 1/4 lbs. he weighs the same as a Chinese cabbage, can blink his eyes and can see light filtering through my womb. Passed my glucose test (hurray for not having gestational diabetes-- i hear it sucks and means no more donuts) but need more iron (no wonder I've felt extra exhausted--hurray for needing more cheeseburgers in my diet!)

Never thought we'd have such a hard time choosing a name, given how obsessed I've always been with baby names but, alas, nothing has seemed like 'the' name--as it did with Audrey.

Suggestions? (Restrictions: no 'm' names and it must go with 'Morris.')

Not sure if anyone even checks this anymore since I never post. But isn't this cupcake cute?!

Fall is slowly coming to Portland....my little girl is obsessed with riding her Skuut bike and wearing flip flops. Yes now that summer's over, she finally learned how to wear them and insists on having them on 100% of the time.

Public. Private. Public.

So we've had so many issues adding people to the permissions thing which didn't always seem to work for some reason (so sorry for those of you who were never able to come on even after we added your names) that we decided to go public again. 

Not that we ever even post. 

I guess there've been myriad reasons for that, which are well-covered territory, but nevertheless here they are again:

1.) Time. 

Time on the computer is almost always 'stolen'. Stolen from my hubbie, Audrey, or God, just good-ole-quiet alone-with-me time, or calling friends & family (which is already hard enough to find uninterrupted time for!)...or reading time (all those books that are calling my name!)...or exercise...or sleep...or email time...

2.) Interest.

I guess it seems a little boring to write about the every day trivialities of home life and at the other extreme, a little too...exposed to air out more personal thoughts, etc. ...and when I did, I found myself censoring too much so as not to offend the views of people who (used to) read this blog so....it just got stale.

3.) It takes too long to upload pictures.

 

Which is really the main reason that people look at blogs anyways, isn't it? I found myself getting behind...and then getting discouraged and then I'd make vows and promises to 'catch up' but never did...and then it just became another chore.

So why am I even keeping this thing? I'm not sure. Can I find a reason to keep it, the mojo to make it happen, and the moderation to not feel guilty that I'm wasting precious seconds of my day ?

A mission. A purpose. That's what I need. A Purpose-Driven Blog. I can't see it now: t-shirts, hats, pens, journals, coffee-mugs. Yeah, that's it.

But there are so many blogs out there. What is there to say that hasn't everything already been said? 

In some ways it feels like there is nothing new under the sun and all is vanity, as the writer of Ecclesiastes once aptly said.

Before closing, I'll tell you about some recent happenings (within a week or so) that you could probably care less about:

- Our beloved McCormicks came and visited us over the 4th of July weekend. We did all kinds of fun stuff like a jet boat ride on the Willammette, a kiddie-parade, watching Audrey playing in the Jamison park fountains, eating way too much and just generally sitting around eating and drinking too much. And getting into a funk when they left.

- New good friends here in Pdx, Sonja and Luc, were married. It was a fun-filled week of bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and a beautiful and sweet wedding in Forest Grove, Oregon. Lovely people, loverly day. G.K. Chesterton said something that I feel is excellent and wise, even if it does reveal some jaded shadow to my own heart: "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost." 

- In an effort to help my friend save some $, I baked and iced about 160 cupcakes for the wedding. And though I've baked many a cupcake, I never did understand why many caterers charge an outrageous $7 or more per cupcake. Now I do.  I had never piped so many freakin' flower petals in my dern life. Three kinds: carrot w/ cream cheese icing, dark chocolate w/ ganache & a rose-water buttercream, and last but not least spice w/ maple cream & bacon. yes, bacon. You gotta try it. Weird but it works.

- My friend, Jen and I, went to a Coldplay concert.  FANTASTIC. But now I'm haunted by a few songs that I cannot seem to get out of my head. 

- Today Audrey and I biked over to a playgroup where they threw sand at each other and loved it...and to my dismay (and probably to that of every single person we passed on the street) she cried the whole way home because it was past nap time and her mommy waited too long to leave. Darn it that we're both so social.

- Tonight we had friends over for dinner which is all well and good (European Peasant dough makes excellent Naan, we discovered), but best of all we had Roed Groed med Floede. Do you know what that is?

Literally translated from Danish it's 'red porridge with cream'. In actuality it's a red porridge with cream. Or more specifically: you puree red berries (+ I added some cooked rhubarb) with sugar and top it off with whipped cream (laced with real vanilla beans & a splash of almond extract). Serve in a bowl. So simple, so incredibly delicious. Except for one problem.

It makes me miss Denmark even more than I already do.

Yes, I still do. And I feel so guilty about it because God is, as always, soooo generous and good to me. (Although now that I've said that, some tragedy is just bound to strike. That's my theology in a nutshell.) Married to an amazing guy (who is so great that he actually 'gets' my missing DK and isn't even threatened by it at all), blessed with an angelic daughter, faithful friends here in the U.S., love Portland and our life here...but Denmark. I can't seem to get it out of my heart, like an unfinished gestalt.  I miss people and things...and I can just picture Gitte and Marian at Oasis camping in the Danish summer night right now. Camping in a way that only Danish people know how to camp. With preaching and singing and lots of bbq-ing and smoking and wine and beer. Yes, all at a church camp. That kind of says it all and I miss it. And I also realize that all of this is part and parcel of living in a broken world. As Larry Crabb put it in his book 'Inside Out', that even when our lives are happiest and without tragedy, we walk around with a sense deep in our hearts, that all is not as it is should be. Nor will it ever be. Not on this side of heaven.' 

Still, I ache to be there...that place where I grew up and spent such precious, growing years of my life...sitting outside of an old camper (where Audrey's already sleeping), together with Mike and our friends and a glass of vino...watching the sun not go down. Not all the way.